John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la...

Tuesday evening we (my hubby and I) met our son and his wife (Jake and Loren), and our youngest son, Drew, at The Chop House for dinner.  We celebrated Jake's completion of all the requirements for the Bachelor of Science degree at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville.  He decided to skip the whole "walking" thing and just relish the fact that he was done by enjoying a nice medium-rare rib-eye steak. 

I typically get all emotional at times like this...my eyes become geysers much like Old Faithful.  It can be pretty embarrassing...there's no claiming, "Oh! I got something in my eye!" and believe that anyone is going to buy it.  However, I only had one slight "moment" and it occurred during our drive to the restaurant.  We made the mistake of talking about "lambies" (lambskins that Jake and Drew slept on when they were babies) and that made me think about precious Jake toddling around as an 18-month old with a piece of his lambie (which had disintegrated and fallen apart due to multiple washings and dryings when he had a virus) clutched to his face in one hand and the thumb of his other hand in his mouth.  It's one of my favorite memories of Jake...so sweet...I could've just eaten him with a spoon!!  As I reminisced...my eyes got misty...

Another sweet memory is when my mom taught Jake the song "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt".  Jake's speaking ability was not quite up to pronouncing all the words in the song...but, he LOVED to shout the "la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la's" at the end!  He would just kind of mutter through the first part of the song and then sing the "la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la's" at the top of his lungs collapsing in a heap of laughter when it was over.  Such sweet, innocent delight and contagious giggles... and I'm misting again...

Now...our precious Jake is married to precious Loren, and is a college graduate.  These are the kinds of accomplishments I used to long, wish, and hope for each of our children.  ...and I worked quite feverishly to "control" their lives to ensure they had at least a chance for the very best.  Even going so far as believing it would be better for them to go to a prestigious private boarding school for 9th - 12th grades because of the doors that would open to them just by having that school's name on their transcripts.  At least that's the motivation I claimed if anyone asked how we could allow our children to leave home when they were only 15 years old.  Truth be told...I was focused on raising our children to be successful, influential, "upper echelon" people...all for MY glory...so that people would be impressed with ME and MY incredible talents in motherhood.  I have cried many more tears over this ugly truth than probably any other sin of which I am guilty. 

PRIDE...it's a horrible thing.  It's a killer that promises life by masking itself with beauty.  It's a liar that promises acclaim by clothing itself with knowledge.  It's a poser that promises satisfaction by masquerading itself as prosperity.  It's the ugliest of idols.  It's the idol of ME.

There is no part of my life left untouched by my pride.  Every decision was made by evaluating the outcome through the "Me" lens.  How would it affect ME?  Would it make ME look good?  Would people like ME more?  Would MY life be made easier?  My pride so controlled me that I essentially became a hostage in a self-constructred prison of fear...a far cry from "the queen of all the lands about" I had dreamed of and worked so hard to become.  It was a painful day when God opened my eyes to my sin and His Son, my Savior. Painful...but, glorious.  For the first time I saw my sin on my Savior and for the first time I felt free from the bondage of myself.  "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved [me], even when [I] was dead in [my] trespasses, made [me] alive together with Christ - by grace [I] have been saved..."  (Ephesians 2:4-5)

Complete victory will come when I'm in the presence of Jesus...because as John Piper says, I will be totally unaware of myself.  For now God is gracious to give me glimpses of that day, which leads me back to The Chop House and Jake's graduation meal.  I was a humbled and thankful mother that evening, because God saved Jake and placed in him the gift of eternal life.  Jake loves the gospel and is giving his life away to share the gospel with college students on the campus of the University of Tennessee Knoxville.  Jake is thankful to be a college graduate because he will be able to throw his whole heart into ministry... he is storing up treasure in heaven where moth nor rust destroys. 

One of God's most loving gifts to me has been my inability to claim any part of our children's well-being or doing.  I did all I could to conform them to this world...to raise them to be pleasers of men...to set them on the "road to success".  God saved them to be aliens in this world...pleasers of God...and fellow heirs with Jesus Christ.  ...all to the praise of His glory!  So, when we celebrate milestones...and even pebbles...my heart is provoked to praise the One from whom all blessings flow...to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever! (Jude 25) 

 Congratulations, Jake!  We love you and Loren!

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.....!