"Expectations are resentments waiting to happen."
...a wise counselor once told me.
He offered this counsel
because he discerned my heart's struggle with resentment.
That quote has served me well
on the battleground of marriage...
in the transition to empty-nesting...
or to put it more simply... in life.
Does that mean I should have no expectations?
No. Not at all.
It does mean that I should examine the root of my expectations...
the motivation behind them.
When resentment is the result of my expectations
the motivation has always been...yes, always...self-centered.
It might look something like this...
Sweet Husband goes away on a business trip.
As the day of his return approaches
I begin to anticipate his homecoming
and start to create scenarios
of how this event will play out...
how he will greet me...
how he will gush over missing me...
how he will be positively ecstatic about the dinner plans
I made without consulting him first...
how he will be ready and willing
to help me complete the little project I started while he was gone...
When Sweet Husband arrives
he hugs me and gives me a kiss...but there's no gushing...
he says he's looking forward to hunkering down
and enjoying his recliner and going to bed early.
How am I going to cancel last minute the dinner plans I made?
He goes on about how tired he is and how he's looking forward
to a relaxing, do nothing kind of afternoon and evening...
How can he be that tired?
He stayed in a quiet hotel...
where his bed was made for him every day...
he ate at restaurants...
where his food was cooked to order and brought to him every meal...
he enjoyed adult conversation...
with people old enough to speak in complete sentences...
and he didn't have to let the dog out to go potty even once!
This is NOT the kind of homecoming I was expecting...
you know...centered around...ME!
That's when the resentment begins to fester in my heart.
It doesn't have to be a marriage scenario.
Most parents are guilty of this, too...
when their kids don't perform according to their expectations...
thus, not bringing kudos and high compliments from others
regarding the superiority of their "seed".
I know...it's ugly...but, such is the fruit of a heart
full of self-exalting and self-centered expectations.
And this has what to do with the season of advent?
Advent is a season of expectation...
weeks of remembering all that preceded the birth of Christ
as the children of Israel waited expectantly for the Messiah...
and weeks of expectant hope that He,
King Jesus, will come again.
What better way for Christians to guard our hearts
from becoming entangled in the expectations
our culture places on Christmas...excuse me...the holidays...
namely, "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!"
Right?
Instead of looking forward to Christmas Day
with expectations of fulfilled wish lists...
we remember the birth of Jesus,
God's perfect gift who satisfies our greatest need,
and we rejoice that the long awaited,
long expected Savior has come...
fulfilling every prophecy foretold hundreds of years prior.
Then as we remember the birth of Jesus
the manger points us to the cross of Jesus,
where God's perfect sacrifice satisfied the penalty for our sin,
and we rejoice that the long awaited,
long expected Savior has come...
fulfilling every prophecy foretold hundreds of years prior.
Then as we remember the cross of Jesus,
we are drawn to look, once more, inside the empty tomb,
Jesus is no longer there...He is risen...
and we rejoice that the long awaited,
long expected Savior has come...
and He has promised to come again.
That is our hope filled...
Christ exalting and Christ centered
expectation!
Come, Thou long expected Jesus
born to set Thy people free.
From our fears and sins release us
let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation
hope of all the earth Thou art.
Dear desire of every nation
joy of every longing heart.
Born Thy people to deliver
born a child, and yet, a King.
Born to reign in us forever
now Thy gracious Kingdom bring.
By Thine own eternal Spirit
rule in all our hearts alone.
By Thine own sufficient merit
raise us to Thy glorious throne.
(by Charles Wesley)
Kay, I think it is interesting that, while Christ's coming fulfilled prophecies, it met very few folks' expectations. Jesus' method of arrival, ideas of Kingdom and power, and his seeming failure to accomplish the Messiah's mission (to overthrow Rome) all seemed to lead, if not to resentment, then to disappointment and disregard. The world, for the most part, couldn't deal with the kind of Savior Jesus was. Thankfully, there were a few with an openness to Him, and they passed His message on. I am thankful that, sometimes, my expectations are not met. Come, thou UNexpected Jesus...
ReplyDeleteLeigh Anne
Hey Leigh Anne! Thanks for reading and commenting. I agree that Jesus totally blew the Jewish peoples' expectations as to what they thought the Messiah should look like, be like, act like, etc... He was, in reality, so far from their expectations that many of them, especially the Jewish leaders, finally cried, "Crucify!" And I think the world today still can't deal with the kind of Savior Jesus is. He continues to be "the stone that makes men stumble and the rock that makes men fall"...as Isaiah and 1 Peter refer to him...and Michael Card sings (that's actually a line from one of his songs). I, too, am thankful that most of the time my expectations are not met... because, as far as expectations of Jesus are concerned, he always greatly exceeds them and I, once again, put my hand over my mouth. (Job 40:4)
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